I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
