i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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