he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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