I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
