He is such a slut. More and more my type.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
