i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
