I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
