another moral hangover. fuck.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize