an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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