you guys were way drunker than both of me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
