College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i dont even know how to be here
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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