Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
