Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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