I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
