If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
