New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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