Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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