Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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