shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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