Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
