hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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