plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
