i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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