Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Operation Purity has been aborted
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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