Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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