And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
