I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
