tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
