i barfeds in our rink
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
