ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
