Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I AM VODKA MAN
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize