If that was your dad, he is hot
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
this is an emotional support booty call
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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