Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
