she looked like the before picture.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
