i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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