a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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