He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
