"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Randomize
