So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
