You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i think my mom watched the whole time
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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