i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We won't sleep together?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Drake has all the answers
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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