She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
