If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
