I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
His hands were made for my vagina.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
