Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
