Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
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Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
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Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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