yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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