i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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