it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize