apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
