Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He better not be in your backpack
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
