i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
how drunk are you?
Several
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
