(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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