I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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