I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
