just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
