im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize