Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
