SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize