even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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