Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
