She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
