she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
