Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
