When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
