if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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