its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
