fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
