I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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