i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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