Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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