I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
